Why do guys get sleepy after sex?
-- asks J. from Brooklyn, NY.
Melinda Wenner • September 25, 2006
![The sated Satyr. [<em>Sleeping Satyr</em>, marble copy of bronze original, unknown sculptor c. 200 B.C.]](https://scienceline.org/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/370px-sleeping_satyr.jpg)
The sated Satyr. [Sleeping Satyr, marble copy of bronze original, unknown sculptor c. 200 B.C.]
For many women, the correlation between sex and snoring is one of those annoying facts of life: no matter when passionate encounters occur, men always seem to fall asleep immediately afterwards. Dave Zinczenko, the author of Men, Love and Sex: The Complete User Guide For Women, explained the phenomenon to Huffington Post writer Arianna Huffington this way: “Men go to sleep because women don’t turn into a pizza.”
I doubt I am ever going to become a pizza, and I’ll never have the foresight to order one beforehand. So in lieu of a cure, a better explanation will have to do. Although women sometimes feel sleepy after sex, the phenomenon does seem more pronounced in men. What is it, then, that spirals them into the land of nod?
First, the obvious reasons for sex’s somnolent sway: the act frequently takes place at night, in a bed, and is, after all, physically exhausting (often more so for the man than the woman, although this certainly varies). So when sex is over, it’s natural for a guy to feel sleepy.
Secondly, research using positron emission tomography (PET) scans has shown that in order for a person to reach orgasm, a primary requirement is to let go of “all fear and anxiety.” Doing so also tends to be relaxing and might explain the tendency to snooze.
Then there is the biochemistry of the orgasm itself. Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide (NO), and the hormone prolactin. The release of prolactin is linked to the feeling of sexual satisfaction, and it also mediates the “recovery time” that men are well aware of—the time a guy must wait before “giving it another go.” Studies have also shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.
Prolactin levels are naturally higher during sleep, and animals injected with the chemical become tired immediately. This suggests a strong link between prolactin and sleep, so it’s likely that the hormone’s release during orgasm causes men to feel sleepy.
(Side note: prolactin also explains why men are sleepier after intercourse than after masturbation. For unknown reasons, intercourse orgasms release four times more prolactin than masturbatory orgasms, according to a recent study.)
Oxytocin and vasopressin, two other chemicals released during orgasm, are also associated with sleep. Their release frequently accompanies that of melatonin, the primary hormone that regulates our body clocks. Oxytocin is also thought to reduce stress levels, which again could lead to relaxation and sleepiness.
What about the evolutionary reasons for post-sex sleepiness? This is trickier to explain. Evolutionarily speaking, a man’s primary goal is to produce as many offspring as possible, and sleeping doesn’t exactly help in his quest. But perhaps since he cannot immediately run off with another woman anyway—damn that recovery time!—re-energizing himself via sleep may be the best use of his time.
And although there is conflicting information as to whether women feel sleepy after sex, a woman often falls asleep with the man anyway (or uses it for some key cuddling time), which is good news for him: it means she is not off finding another mate. When the man wakes up and she’s still there, he just might be ready to go again.
It’s also possible that sleepiness is just a “side effect” associated with a more evolutionarily important reason for the release of oxytocin and vasopressin. In addition to being associated with sleep, both chemicals are also intimately involved in what is called “pair bonding,” the social attachment human mates commonly share. The release of these brain chemicals during orgasm heightens feelings of bonding and trust between sexual partners, which may partially explain the link between sex and emotional attachment. This bond is favorable should the couple have a baby, as cooperative child rearing maximizes the young one’s chances for survival.
The bottom line is this: there are many potential biochemical and evolutionary reasons for post-sex sleepiness, some direct and some indirect—but no one has yet pinpointed the exact causes. One thing, however, is certain: we females better get used to it, because it doesn’t look likely to change anytime soon.
I will leave frustrated American women with one final thought: if you are upset at the ubiquity of the post-sex snoring phenomenon, remember that things could be a lot worse. A recent survey of 10,000 English men revealed that 48 percent actually fall asleep during sex.
Talk about coitus interruptus!
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About the Author
Melinda Wenner
Melinda Wenner gave up a much higher salary, a BMW and a comfortable life in the British suburbs in order to write for Scienceline. She is willing to trade her knowledge of molecular biology (and perhaps her list of sources) for a well-poured pint of Carling. Contact her at whathaveidone@hotmail.com.
313 Comments
I think its all about peace of mind
I completely agree with Common Sense, your article has been completely degraded with a small comment, are you not aware that English people read on this site?
Before you write a comment like that again, remember from which tree you Americans were grown, with idiotic comments like that, im glad i am on this side of the Atlantic…
If you want to talk surveys, then in a survey conducted throughout North America, 31% of Americans believe “emotional intimacy” is what American men want most in a romantic liaison i.e. holding hands.
You can rip us English about falling asleep during sex, but sleeping half way through sex is better than instead going in the park and “holding hands”, my opinion of course
really cannot believe that, what a typical American comment
other than that, twas a good article and you certainly answered my question
Chris
Manchester, UK
Feels good, man.
Can l ask a question?l’ts quite bad but how do l can suck my boyfriend’s lollipop?l would like to do that because everytime we have sex l’m quite bored l want to do something erotic
can someone give me good tips about how to make my girlfriend accept my invitation to have sex with me ?We have sex 3 times already but l want more!!!!
This article is true for me because my girlfriend complains bec. when we are having sex l always fall asleep at the middle of sex but l try my best not to sleep so that the longer the sex the more l want it.She said that maybe nextweek we will have another sex twice in a row if l will not sleep during our sex.
To tell everyone the truth since l was 14 l was having sex with my boyfriends when l was 14 until now l almost got 11 boyfriends.all of them were sleepy when we have our first round then after we sleep thay will wake me up then we will go again then we will go to the bathroom and bath together then we go to our own houses.
me and my friend(not my boyfriend!but we still do have sex but were not boyfriends and girlfriends)love sex we fall asleep then we have intercourse were both addicted to that thing all people think we are just friends
l’m sorry l just hate sex the first time l tried it,it felt really awesome then after a day l felt very sick.
Guys… this article is very old… you can stop replying to it.
Also: Lawl @ the English guys. Are you insecure or something? I took it as a joke and it did not make me question the validity of the article.
Stop finding stuff to cry about. I don’t get angry when I see “studies” about Americans.
What do you meen by “studies”
english and americans….two shades of the same shit!
Although the article posted here is both well written and on a great subject, it does well to formulate a great response from all readers.
I read about Prolactin in a recent edition of Mens Health which lead me to reaserch this “normal phenonomon” further.
The comments here were a great laugh! I had fun.
With most prejudice comes some truth, I don’t take any poll results too seriously, but having had an English boyfriend, the one cited here made me giggle :D He did not fall asleep during sex, but he definitely took a lot longer than any guy I’ve ever met* to recharge! It was quite confusing for me :S
*Exaggeration, I don’t have sex with every guy I meet, but I talk about this kind of thing with my friends.
Some of the unrelated comments here really make me worry.
My buddy sent me this link because of this line, “in order for a person to reach orgasm, a primary requirement is to let go of “all fear and anxiety.””. I can definitely never do that, and I’ve never had an orgasm. However I have become close, and can reach something I think is similar to an orgasm. I feel an odd sense of sadness when I read about other people’s sexual issues sometimes, perhaps I assume that their issues with “good” or “bad” (or tiring or not) sex are as subconsciously affected by their emotions as mine.
“What emotions? Sex doesn’t have emotions!” …Yeah, never mind.
What troubles me a lot is that it seems like plenty of people are screwing others in a serious relationship, except they’re too afraid to be totally open and honest with that person. Not specifically targeted to this site, it was just a reminder.
Pardon my rambling about potentially unrelated issues. I suffer boredom…
im a guy and a lot of time the women i sleep with never wants to go for a round 2 because their tired from me giving the pipe to them so good. They always fall asleep before me and im up wanting more sex. So thats a myth that all men fall asleep after sex!
Hazy—-yeah i see where your comingfrom but the women could also just switch postions. like get on top so she controls where the penis hits.
OK IDK U PEOPLE BUT EVERY TIME I HAVE SEX WITH MY GIRLFREIND WE HAVE A GOOD TIME SO GUES WAT WE DO IT AND WE HAVE FUN EVERY TIME MAN I MEAN ALOT AND I DOO NOT GO TO SLEEP SO U GUYS R QUEIRS LOL
okay, im a big dude.. 6’5″, 304 lbs.
45-60 minutes of layin the smackdown gets me tired as fuck. so i grab a little meal, and im recharged. simple as that.
I think it’s funny how men believe they do most of the work and how they truly believe this to be the case. Here is what I have found in my own research:
#1) If I am not completely satisfied or do not orgasm then I am left sexually frustrated after sex and cannot go to sleep. This is caused from the stress build up wanting to be released and unable to.
#2) If I orgasm really well, falling asleep is a must. My whole body goes numb and its hard to move…nothing a good nap can’t handle.
#3) If I orgasm slightly then I have lots of energy and why waste the energy laying in bed.
Men are just the weaker, lazier sex.
its litlle bit funny bout the question, but i just agree that after having orgasm, sleep are easier .. :)
I’m 26 years old male. Never had a girlfriend. I’m a geek, and I masturbate once, or twice every single day.
what’s the big deal about men falling asleep after sex. the more important thing is whether he gives you good sex. moreover after many years of marriage and as one ages and not so fit, sex can be quite challenging. so, young ladies, enjoy yourself to the fullest now and don’t kick such a fuss about your men falling asleep. better than they falling dead earlier and having no one to have sex with you. get real and have fun while it lasts.
Quite indubitably
ok me and my girlfriend has sex earlier today and afterwards i fell asleep…when i woke up she told me she started throwing up after we got done..does anybody know wat might have caused that?
Did you pull off in her mouth? if so, get yourself tested
The “idiot” woman who left comment number 120 is a COMPLETE jackass!! Yeah, men actually “DO” most of the work! What the hell do women do? Lie there and complain about everything her man is doing? And where did this “stupidity” come from that it’s the “man’s responsibility” to GIVE women an orgasm? We can’t GIVE you an orgasm you moron!!! We can only HELP you have one!! So if you don’t have one, it’s NOT our responsibility. Women and their “constant” complaining MAKE ME SICK!! Shut the hell up!! Or have sex by yourself since you’re so good at it!!!
For people asking why this article is published.. Maybe lots of reasons but alot of us men and women are looking for facts of sex before a workout or fight, etc….
So, sex before working out is bad lol.
I found this article interesting but was truly entertained by the comments of angry and obviously sexually insecure Englishmen who were so flustered by it. Its hard for me to even imagine anyone being so enraged by such a foolish thing.
As I am from New England and would like to believe that the brave men and women who settled this land weren’t a bunch of absurdly insecure hotheads, I’ll assume that you’re not representative of your countrymen.
I mean really? REALLY?? People who take offense to something that ridiculous are ridiculous themselves. Stop being an embarrassment to yourselves and your country… or keep going… it is quite comical after all.
I will be active and wide awake but once I rub one out, my eye lids get heavy and I start to slow down. If I lean back and close my eyes, I would probably be asleep within less than a minute.
great read, comments and all. the whole brain chemistry after and during orgasm seems to be the meaning of life. understanding what we feel is more of a mystery. the prolactin, elsewhere i’ve read it’s the bonding chemical and that it’s the ‘done here, get up and go’ chemical. here i read it’s the sexual satisfaction chem which could mean either one. wondering which it is. guess it may depend on what satisfies a guy, bonding or getting up and going!
regardless it’s strange that after sex there is the bonding feelings and the get up and go feelings. perhaps i have a bit more reading to do. on this search i also found an article on tantra, suggesting that sex without male orgasm is the secret to everlasting love. possible. seems like something would be lacking though..
personally, i like to sleep right after sex because there is nothing else in life to want to be awake for, and because anything she wants to talk about will make me want to leave. true.
OK, just a quick one. I’ve gone for a while before and yes I do feel quite tired afterwards, and find that some of the girls I’ve been with are quite tired too, and both of us to go to sleep. I’ll also say its not an impossible tired, and if I just chat too, then I can wake up again, and do ALL the chatting they want. I read somewhere that sex tends to make guys want to sleep, and girls want to bond. So I just stay up for their sake. Also a good chance to show your a bit different to other guys that might just fall asleep instantly.
Also, regards to guys doing more work, whether I have done more work or not, I’m still well tired. I remember one girl was pretty much always on top and she never seemed as tired as I was. It’s not an exercise tired…it’s just the tired that you want to sleep. e.g. A 400m sprint won’t make you want to go to bed will it?
On another note, I’m English too. The last comment was a bit bit off hand, but yeah, it just shows how imprecise the English language can be. Artistic licence, used too much.
I need medical advice. I usually fall sick after having sex with my wife. My whole body will become disorganized, depression, producivity decline, etc even if doing it once a month. What is the likely cause and possible solution to this malady?
im a guy and the same thing happens to me. when im giving my man a hard one up the anus it gets really tiring and all you wana do is lie on top of him and fall asleep before he gets up and does you from the back. i love him lol.
You may have the post-orgasmic illness syndrome (POIS).
Im i guy and i admit i ALWAYS fall asleep right after… Even when i was a kid i’d masturbate and id fall asleep right when im done with my pants down, of course my mom walked in… But i don’t know why it happens
maybe all the extra blood that goes to the penis makes you idk , light headed and tired
I get the urge to pick my nose during sex and I cannot seem to fight it. Is that normal?
This article interested me because after I masturbate I feel very tired like most guys will understand that sudden loss of energy leaving your body and the tiredness lasts the whole day afterwards for me a debilitating tired it is quite offensive to me. My interest in the article was to discover this nasty effect of sex I do not believe in evolution so that makes no sense to me it is casuistry to me. Aside from that, loss of energy to me is not healthy. As far as the cuddling and deep emotional attachment feelings that is very well sounding as far a I am concerened. I hate the energy loss. I want to fight it. I highly admire those guys that can go for allegedly a very long time I wish that was the case for me. How is it that you guys can last so long? Is it true or are you lying? The only problem with that is that doesn’t the guy get bored? I don’t know.Perhaps not. I would opt to be one of those guys. Also, how much of that can a girl really take before she has no vagina left? Anyhow that really does not interest me that much except for the energy loss part. That is why we are not continually having sex because we know it is seriously going to mess us up. Does anybody know what you can do about the corresponding energy loss?
I really liked your article, and I think its very important for women to understand the male nature after sex, cause this will increase the love between the two partners.
As a guy, I believe we can go to sleep not only because of hormones and what not, but the sense of “mission accomplished” for the day.
this is really the great study made about post sex habits of human race . we feel sleepy after sex and even on the next day also ….. but after about 15 hours i become normal…… and i have done some experiments with me to get fast recovery also…. what i do is this that i take a sleep break on the next day afternoon.. then take bath … then i recover a lot and feel again fit..
if the girls hot enough ill be up for a another go right after YA SMELL ME?
boys all i will say is we hav to make sure we put dem to sleep cus ..tink of it …it less time to fight…wen dey bitchin crack dem hard make dem sleepy an no stress wat so eva…………………word!
That last paragraph was about as stupid as they get. Men do not fall asleep during sex. The fact that the author believes this is likely in the slightest makes me believe that she has never had sex.
That “men fall asleep because women don’t turn into pizzas” line just doesn’t make any sense. So men are hungry after they have sex? No. Not particularly. By the way, that “PET research” sounds dubious at best. A brain scan does not tell you exactly how you are feeling, nor whether your emotions have anything to do with your current state of being.
It’s 2009. It’s 0500 in the morning, and all I’ve done is read these comments top to bottom. Every word. Because I can’t sleep. And I’m 22. And fat. I guess I’m one with all those suggesting that something as insignificant as this shouldn’t matter in a serious relationship. I’m also all for those seriously inclined to the scientific development of the idea of men’s likelihood of falling asleep… bUt s3riously y’all, the doods with ThEM spell ErroRs serIOUSLY made MA NIGHT. A lol, a lol a lol-a-lol-a-lol. Describing your male bravado on a forum? Nice work.
Hum,
Well with my wife I try normally to go to sleep before sex. With my mistress, who I only see every few months, I can’t stay awake enough.
I have read all the comments, but there is only one side of the coin,I can see, nobody has told any reason for the reverse effect i.e my women get asleep immediately after sex and i feel normal not much exhausted, would anybody help me to find the reason for that or suggest me weather it’s a natural thing or there is any problem with us.
Sweet article!
Hi Srinivas, may be you need to make it more interesting….
One evolutionary reason for sleeping after sex may have to do with the enormous amount of stress that males are under in the pre-sex period. I’m not talking about modern humans, but if you look at male animals in the wild, the pre-sex period is often taking up with a prolonged period of high stress, high activity, during which they expend a lot of energy in trying to attract a mate and also fight off other males. Look at herd animals: the rutting process to dominate other males prior to actually being able to mate with a female is extremely taxing. Many males during this period go without sleep, food and rest, while also expending much more energy than they would usually use.
Similarly, territorial hunting animals will have to range across a very large distance, into other territories, with very little rest in order to find a female to mate with.
Once the mating is done, the immediate need to dominate other males and attract a mate is somewhat over, so an “enforced” sleep to recover expended energy seems like a good idea.
Perhaps the need for human males to sleep after sex relates in some way to that part of our past in which males of our species also had to expend a lot of energy to ensure they could mate with females.
Why do we make assumptions about what is best evolutionarily instead of looking at what exists and then trying to figure out evolution?
The evolutionary explanation is simple. Once a male human being has had sex, it is better for him to stay and bond with the woman than to sleep with another woman. Male humans are not fish. If men want their offspring to survive, they have to stick around. They also have to keep their woman from having sex with someone else. Having sex with a woman who is not your mate is not that advantageous, especially when you throw in the risk that your own mate will cheat while you are off somewhere else. So going to sleep with your mate is a great response from an evolutionary point of view for HUMAN males.