Why do guys get sleepy after sex?
-- asks J. from Brooklyn, NY.
Melinda Wenner • September 25, 2006
![The sated Satyr. [<em>Sleeping Satyr</em>, marble copy of bronze original, unknown sculptor c. 200 B.C.]](https://scienceline.org/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/370px-sleeping_satyr.jpg)
The sated Satyr. [Sleeping Satyr, marble copy of bronze original, unknown sculptor c. 200 B.C.]
For many women, the correlation between sex and snoring is one of those annoying facts of life: no matter when passionate encounters occur, men always seem to fall asleep immediately afterwards. Dave Zinczenko, the author of Men, Love and Sex: The Complete User Guide For Women, explained the phenomenon to Huffington Post writer Arianna Huffington this way: “Men go to sleep because women don’t turn into a pizza.”
I doubt I am ever going to become a pizza, and I’ll never have the foresight to order one beforehand. So in lieu of a cure, a better explanation will have to do. Although women sometimes feel sleepy after sex, the phenomenon does seem more pronounced in men. What is it, then, that spirals them into the land of nod?
First, the obvious reasons for sex’s somnolent sway: the act frequently takes place at night, in a bed, and is, after all, physically exhausting (often more so for the man than the woman, although this certainly varies). So when sex is over, it’s natural for a guy to feel sleepy.
Secondly, research using positron emission tomography (PET) scans has shown that in order for a person to reach orgasm, a primary requirement is to let go of “all fear and anxiety.” Doing so also tends to be relaxing and might explain the tendency to snooze.
Then there is the biochemistry of the orgasm itself. Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide (NO), and the hormone prolactin. The release of prolactin is linked to the feeling of sexual satisfaction, and it also mediates the “recovery time” that men are well aware of—the time a guy must wait before “giving it another go.” Studies have also shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.
Prolactin levels are naturally higher during sleep, and animals injected with the chemical become tired immediately. This suggests a strong link between prolactin and sleep, so it’s likely that the hormone’s release during orgasm causes men to feel sleepy.
(Side note: prolactin also explains why men are sleepier after intercourse than after masturbation. For unknown reasons, intercourse orgasms release four times more prolactin than masturbatory orgasms, according to a recent study.)
Oxytocin and vasopressin, two other chemicals released during orgasm, are also associated with sleep. Their release frequently accompanies that of melatonin, the primary hormone that regulates our body clocks. Oxytocin is also thought to reduce stress levels, which again could lead to relaxation and sleepiness.
What about the evolutionary reasons for post-sex sleepiness? This is trickier to explain. Evolutionarily speaking, a man’s primary goal is to produce as many offspring as possible, and sleeping doesn’t exactly help in his quest. But perhaps since he cannot immediately run off with another woman anyway—damn that recovery time!—re-energizing himself via sleep may be the best use of his time.
And although there is conflicting information as to whether women feel sleepy after sex, a woman often falls asleep with the man anyway (or uses it for some key cuddling time), which is good news for him: it means she is not off finding another mate. When the man wakes up and she’s still there, he just might be ready to go again.
It’s also possible that sleepiness is just a “side effect” associated with a more evolutionarily important reason for the release of oxytocin and vasopressin. In addition to being associated with sleep, both chemicals are also intimately involved in what is called “pair bonding,” the social attachment human mates commonly share. The release of these brain chemicals during orgasm heightens feelings of bonding and trust between sexual partners, which may partially explain the link between sex and emotional attachment. This bond is favorable should the couple have a baby, as cooperative child rearing maximizes the young one’s chances for survival.
The bottom line is this: there are many potential biochemical and evolutionary reasons for post-sex sleepiness, some direct and some indirect—but no one has yet pinpointed the exact causes. One thing, however, is certain: we females better get used to it, because it doesn’t look likely to change anytime soon.
I will leave frustrated American women with one final thought: if you are upset at the ubiquity of the post-sex snoring phenomenon, remember that things could be a lot worse. A recent survey of 10,000 English men revealed that 48 percent actually fall asleep during sex.
Talk about coitus interruptus!
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About the Author
Melinda Wenner
Melinda Wenner gave up a much higher salary, a BMW and a comfortable life in the British suburbs in order to write for Scienceline. She is willing to trade her knowledge of molecular biology (and perhaps her list of sources) for a well-poured pint of Carling. Contact her at whathaveidone@hotmail.com.
313 Comments
Nowhere in the article, or in the many comments that followed it (that I could see), did anyone address one of the main differences between men and women when they have sex that could contribute significantly to an increase sense of fatigue in the men after orgasm… sperm. When men orgasm they produce many millions of sperm that are pumped out, this is something that females *do not* do. The chemicals that are released during orgasm and the sense of fatigue that go with it may be the body’s way of telling the man to rest so it can redirect much needed energy into replacing those millions of sperm. I recall seeing a study a long time ago that said it was not the orgasm that caused the release of the chemical cocktail in men, but the release of sperm (they happen at the same time, but they are separate) and that if men did not ejaculate, they – like women – could continue having sex many times (and should be capable of multiple orgasms).
>>“Just a observation boys, if you do it right, we’ll want to go to sleep too.
lj, September 25, 2006 at 12:26 pm”<>“I’ll limit myself to just one example for you to think about since otherwise I could end up writing a 3000 word essay. If things happened for the survival of the species wouldn’t the sex ratio of our, and most other species be rather more biased towards more females and less males in order to create more offspring?
Alan B, September 25, 2006 at 4:55 pm”<>“Melinda,I appreciate your article, but I really think you missed an important point. The point was made by a couple of people in the comments section. When women have good sex, we pass out! You mention the chemicals released in men after an orgasm, but I’m curious to know what the levels are in women after a GOOD orgasm. I realize it’s harder to ‘hit the right spots’ on a woman, but men need to try more, meaning pay attention and practice more. I think that men are so focused on themselves that they don’t work on giving a woman a good orgasm. We do fall asleep; the better the orgasm, the harder we’ll crash.
hazy, October 12, 2006 at 3:04 pm”<>“i know the truth about men falling asleep after sex its because in the stone age when the men was raping as you may call it woman afterwords they would dose or fall asleep and this gave the woman a chance for them to get free
Maz, February 1, 2007 at 5:02 am”<>“For those who want to know the source of the statistic about English men falling asleep during sex: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/menshealth.html?in_article_id=338126&in_page_id=1800&in_a_source=
Melinda, December 23, 2007 at 1:20 am”<>“Love how all the Englishmen jump in calling it all lies and rubbish! How would you know? Do you discuss your sex life with every other Englishman you see on the street? I’m pretty sure someone who took the time to research all that, enough that even you took a gander, has her facts straight. She wasn’t saying Americans are better at sex she was just citing a research study. It’s funny how you resort to calling Americans fat and “ponces” (an insult most Americans don’t get/couldn’t care less about) to defend yourselves. Makes you sound all the more like the picture perfect top hat toting sexually incompetent Englishman dweeb.
Richard, May 9, 2008 at 4:58 pm”<>“I’m 26 years old male. Never had a girlfriend. I’m a geek, and I masturbate once, or twice every single day.
the me, February 8, 2009 at 4:15 pm”<>“Describing your male bravado on a forum? Nice work.
System3142, August 20, 2009 at 8:11 pm”<<
It was one post and there have been a dozen replies already. The guy was an idiot. Let it go.
Sorry, first post didn’t work properly, I’ll try again…
Nowhere in the article, or in the many comments that followed it (that I could see), did anyone address one of the main differences between men and women when they have sex that could contribute significantly to an increase sense of fatigue in the men after orgasm… sperm. When men orgasm they produce many millions of sperm that are pumped out, this is something that females *do not* do. The chemicals that are released during orgasm and the sense of fatigue that go with it may be the body’s way of telling the man to rest so it can redirect much needed energy into replacing those millions of sperm. I recall seeing a study a long time ago that said it was not the orgasm that caused the release of the chemical cocktail in men, but the release of sperm (they happen at the same time, but they are separate) and that if men did not ejaculate, they – like women – could continue having sex many times (and should be capable of multiple orgasms).
“Just a observation boys, if you do it right, we’ll want to go to sleep too.
lj, September 25, 2006 at 12:26 pm”
And what is “right”? What’s right for one woman won’t work for another.
“I’ll limit myself to just one example for you to think about since otherwise I could end up writing a 3000 word essay. If things happened for the survival of the species wouldn’t the sex ratio of our, and most other species be rather more biased towards more females and less males in order to create more offspring?
Alan B, September 25, 2006 at 4:55 pm”
No, not when the females are needed to tend to our very slow developing young. The ratio of men and women should be roughly similar so the men can protect and provide for the women and young. The need for equal males would not exist were there no threats to females or the young from things like: other ‘tribes’; disease; animals; the elements, etc. The fewer men there are, the fewer women and children they can provide for or protect.
“Melinda,I appreciate your article, but I really think you missed an important point. The point was made by a couple of people in the comments section. When women have good sex, we pass out! You mention the chemicals released in men after an orgasm, but I’m curious to know what the levels are in women after a GOOD orgasm. I realize it’s harder to ‘hit the right spots’ on a woman, but men need to try more, meaning pay attention and practice more. I think that men are so focused on themselves that they don’t work on giving a woman a good orgasm. We do fall asleep; the better the orgasm, the harder we’ll crash.
hazy, October 12, 2006 at 3:04 pm”
First; orgasms do not occur in half measures – you either have one or you don’t. There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Second; few women ‘pass out’ after sex, all you’re doing is heightening your expectations to unachievable levels, and then expressing disappointment that you don’t get that all the time.
Finally; men do not need to ‘try more’. Women have a much easier time satisfying men than men do satisfying women. Women vary a great deal. If you know you take a long time to orgasm, then you should start arousing yourself much earlier so you’ll be closer to orgasm before you even get into bed with a guy. It really isn’t fair to simply say ‘men need to try more’. You need to be responsible for your own orgasm. If your orgasm has a combination lock which must be undone, then the least you can do is discover it for yourself rather than expecting a man to do it and then expressing dissatisfaction when they don’t.
“i know the truth about men falling asleep after sex its because in the stone age when the men was raping as you may call it woman afterwords they would dose or fall asleep and this gave the woman a chance for them to get free
Maz, February 1, 2007 at 5:02 am”
You know the truth all right. It’s spelled ‘L.I.E’.
“For those who want to know the source of the statistic about English men falling asleep during sex: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/menshealth.html?in_article_id=338126&in_page_id=1800&in_a_source=
Melinda, December 23, 2007 at 1:20 am”
That article makes it clear that the men *have* fallen asleep before, but does not say that it has happened more than once, or how many times the people in question had sex, or their state at the time of the incident (alcohol, etc). I’m willing to bet the stats would be the same the world over.
“Love how all the Englishmen jump in calling it all lies and rubbish! How would you know? Do you discuss your sex life with every other Englishman you see on the street? I’m pretty sure someone who took the time to research all that, enough that even you took a gander, has her facts straight. She wasn’t saying Americans are better at sex she was just citing a research study. It’s funny how you resort to calling Americans fat and “ponces” (an insult most Americans don’t get/couldn’t care less about) to defend yourselves. Makes you sound all the more like the picture perfect top hat toting sexually incompetent Englishman dweeb.
Richard, May 9, 2008 at 4:58 pm”
The irony being; you just did exactly what you were mocking the English posters for.
“I’m 26 years old male. Never had a girlfriend. I’m a geek, and I masturbate once, or twice every single day.
the me, February 8, 2009 at 4:15 pm”
Get used to it. You’ll find that sex is much much harder to get for you than it
is for a woman.
“Describing your male bravado on a forum? Nice work.
System3142, August 20, 2009 at 8:11 pm”
It was one post and there have been a dozen replies already. The guy was an idiot. Let it go.
Its simple, buy a small vibrator, vibrate your women until she orgasms, sex her after the orgasm….or a few minutes after, then you can both go to sleep having enjoyed the orgasms and what not.
I think its unfair how women bang on about how they dont get enough orgasm during sex, well how the f**k are we supposed to provide the equivalent of a vibrator on your clit with out di*ks? Huh? We put our stuff inside…where its supposed to go, women were built wrong, their clits should be inside not out.
My 2 cents
great article!,i just found the answer…but my question is,can this sleep linger on in bits for some days?
Useful article indeed, people should be aware , though, that using masturbation as a sleep pill is harmful.
@ just checking out the comments.
I think yr ability of not achieving orgasm, is the problem between you & your
partner. Yes, men can be lazy so does women. Unless, you are not born from a
father & mother to being with. If you have told me that in the face. I’II
give you a duplex for starters. Cuz, you insult all fathers on this earth.
@ Joe
Why is that so? You having such problem?
I was just checking if it applies to other males also as it does to me. If sleep is eluding me, all I have to do is to watch some porn and masturbate and I fall asleep on the very chair sometimes. Amazing! Isn’t it?
Melinda, my 2 cents, I bet you didn’t expect a four years long discussion forum on such an unseemingly trivial sex topic.
Ohh, and don’t let yourself be put off by the offended “british lads”. English men don’t only fall sleep during the main scene but also get you to sleep whilst on the foreplay. That’s why their women rather flee and have sleepless fun in Spain, France, Italy and Greece.
Jing – Male sexual energy, released at climax. Does anyone think that this may have something to do with drowsiness after sex/ejaculation? I personally don’t believe that western science holds the answers to this question.
Simple reason why men fall asleep after sex – Because they have been staying awake for the sole purpose of having sex, so once it’s over, there’s no point in staying awake any longer. Case closed.
or maybe its because when men where kids they almost always masterbated in bed before they fell asleep so the body got used to the idea that it goes orgasm then sleep where as when most girls did it, it was in the shower so no sleep straight away
All I can say is, in the gay world, we don’t have such problems. We can both sleep, OR we can get up and remodel the kitchen. Satisfaction all the way around.
Sex is not more rigorous for men as a rule. That is a totally ridiculous statement.
I looked online for a reason as to why I feel sleepy after ejaculation, regardless of wether it’s with my girlfriend or alone, and my question was fully answered. What I can’t seem to get my head around is the obviously false quote at the end of the article. 48% of English men fall asleep during sex?! This can’t be true. I’m not judging anybody, but it’s a massive misconception that men from certain countries are better at sex than others, such as Italian men or American men. Sure, some men have fallen asleep during sex, be it down to him pleasing his lover after she pleases him or vice versa, but 48%?! Come on – that’s almost 1 out of every 2 that men fall asleep during intercourse with his lover. It can certainly be said that not all information on the internet is true. This article is outstanding and the author seems to know a lot on the subject, but the quote could have been ommited. It just seems that the author is belittling Englishmen to hide her worries or fears over certain men in her life.
– Sean
My boyfriend falls asleep very qiuckly after foreplay but after sex he can stay awake for hours and after half an hour of having sex he is ready for round two, but i struggle to get wet again…any advice or tips from anyone?
you englishmen are dumb as helll. you can’t do good in bed so you should stop trying. m.grabs doesn’t get laid hahahhaha. we don’t like him. pippip cherrio.
mmm
3-4 hours of sex
n times made her cum
1 time came(she said she had enough)
wanted more, was about 4am
listen if you get some of those so called men(with muscles like iron and such, but ability to actualy pleasure women at about 1%) DO NOT COMPLAIN
i honestly do not understand how you are in to them even after they can’t pleasure you enough
1 time and sleep pfft thats like…no i don’t even have a fail analogy
Good article, Melinda, except the part about the english men. The ‘Mens Health’
magazine is utter rubbish, from what I can tell reading their ‘wisedoms’.
I’m a german guy, btw. So, the part about that chemical mix catched my attention,
and I got another nut to crack for y’all, lets call it state of mind for an lack
of better explanation.
My question would be, why men would react different to that chemical mix, if it
were the only (?) reason to feel the need for some nap after having good sex?
In my experience, it doesn’t take an genius to figure out having sex after an long
day is the final exhausting push for the man. Same for the woman, if her day has been equally taxing, I’d bet.
But what about having a play at Sunday morning? I assume, we should be rested by then, but both of us can pass away again cuddling, if there is no need to get up.
So, what about Monday morning or any other weekdays play? :)
For me, this has an very invigorating effect; feels like ‘storming the day’ with no sense of sleepyness whatsoever. Same for my girl, now that’s something!
Indicates to me, the chemical mix can’t be the only reason, but also ‘state of mind’ both are in. Whats the next best thing to have good sex, cuddling and sleeping afterwards? Having good sex and then ‘storm the day’ :)
sex should be stopped
I think that the British stat was taken outta context, but yea… getting huffy and insulting Americans isn’t exactly mature. Nor is insulting Englishmen in response. Would be find if we were in a sandbox, guys.
As for sex… I’m not into hetero shit, so I don’t know ’bout guys getting tired. However, with me… it’s tiring, but not enough so as to shove you into a slumber. Judging by all the sex vs. sex spazzing, I’m glad I’m into my own. lol
men fall asleep after sex because the day is over and stress has just been postponed for tomorrow. Woman; listen well. You want a better orgasm? TELL your lover/spouse/tennis coach where the sweet spot is, or direct him as we are going. We do not have a vagina, we do not have a clit, we have no idea what makes you tick, since all women are different. If you got a complaint, go find yourself a dildo or ron jeremy.
And dont wipe the crumbs off the bedsheets, pizza crust smells better than fish.
Im just turned 18,I seem push my self more after having sex guess hormone peak.
when I was younger tho I use feel bad after masturbating, especially if things got messy in turn make me sleep.
Fall asleep??? heck no — he go pee and then comeback for round two…lol
i think this is very common, men need to relief, and after that they get sleep, but if he wishes to he can wake up in hours to give one more shot, little nap brings their energy back in the level to having sex again. there is nothing wrong with little nap in between….
Not my man … He just go pee and smoke … And walla … Wir machen das noch ein mal … Lol
Too scientific for me… You should also mention about Prana, Chi, however you call it…
My wife have two lovers :( He betryal me in work with musce workers :(
More reasons for men to justify dosing off right after sex. Not fair! Men always seem to have more fun and leeway. Selfish Lazy men. :(
sex=ingorantic thing to do and you don’t need just to get sleeply just go take some sleep pills that should help.
Coitus was a dangerous moment for early sapiens. They were distracted and vulnerable. In the event of a post-coitus attack, if the female runs with the ova and sperm, while the male remains to be eaten, the baby lives, and the female may have a child. If the male runs, and the female is eaten, there is no child. Thus, the species is slightly more successful when the male is tired post-coitus.
Good article. Clears a few things up. But as for why men get tired, maybe it has something to do with all the blood rushing down south to get Jimmy standing at attention? Less blood going to the brain and body also means less oxygen. Maybe that has something to do with it too?
if this is a problem, keep red bull handy. WATCH A VERY POTTER MUSICAL
what some dont realize is that when the brain is deprived of oxygen for just 3 seconds, you feel immensly tired and nearly pass out. All it takes is one crazy orgasm and you could be out like a light.
in my case when i reach the state of unwanted orgamsm very quickly ,i take a break of 5 to 10 min and again i go for an another round.
I’ve read comments about this article being “really old, so stop replying to it”… erm, yep, the article “may” be old, but it’s an ongoing question and debate…
As a bloke, my arousal pretty much fluctuates during the day – stress, etc.
I have the “morning wood” – and feel most “horniest” when I need to get up, shower, shave, dress, and get to work asap, blah, blah, blah…. Why does a man have a “morning wood” (the need to “take a leak” may have a major influence….), and isn’t it ironic that, in todays modern world, if a man’s “morning wood” still exists after abolutions…. we’re too busy getting to work, but also that fact that a man may fall asleep afterwards…. Guess that “evolution” has yet to “catch up” with our current living, give it 2-3,000 years I guess :( …..
I’m a woman; I always fall asleep in less than 2 minutes after my husband orgasms (by then I’ve usually orgasmed at least 5 times, so I’m really exhausted); but sex usually wakes him up. Sometimes when I have trouble falling asleep and he doesn’t want to have sex, he lies on my back (crushing me), imitating the position in which we usually end sex, and that always puts me to sleep in under 2 minutes.
I just masturbated and feel very sleepy, which prompted me to “google” Why do I feel so sleepy after cumming. It directed me to this article im to sleepy to read. Nap time ya’ll, bye!
i like ur articlei like ur article i like ur articlei like ur articlei like ur articlei like ur articlei like ur articlei like ur articlei like ur articlei like ur articlei like ur article
I don’t think most women really know what an orgasm feels like (if you’re not sure you’ve ever had one…you haven’t). I ALWAYS orgasm, but not from intercourse, but constant clitoral stimulation. A clitoris contains the very same nerve endings as a penis and because so many women are ashamed to touch themselves or have their mates touch them, they don’t know what it really feels like. FYI- If you’ve had a real orgasm…you WILL be sleepy!
The last comment. Good night!
wtf is this? everyone is different.
author needs a real job.
There is a forum where over 200 people are gathered who have POIS. Since there is no official medicine for POIS, we ourselves are experimenting. Some successfully. This is a link to the list of what we tried and the result (post B_Jim):
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=6576.msg149009 # msg149009
“A recent survey of 10,000 English men revealed that 48 percent actually fall asleep during sex.”
I think these volunteers were the most sleepyhead people of the English.It’s occasional but it can be true lol :D
I’d like to see where the survey of 10,000 English males was published. Sounds like typical American garbage to me…
i liked the article, but my problem is that my husband doesn’t feel sleepy at all after sex; on the contrary he waits for me to fall asleep which happens very quickly and then gets up to watch tv or finish work. But after masturbation he feels too tired that he can’t do anything but fall asleep. WHY? I really need an answer. doesn’t he feel satisfied during sex to get him to sleep.
Anoda piece of info. Hweva, u havnt checkd we black guys out. Me believe dat d survey would read… 1 in 1000 men fall asleep afta sex in Africa. Our foods are anti… (laughs).
@ anonymouse
you are right somehow.
Thats cause they work harder during sex