Why do guys get sleepy after sex?
-- asks J. from Brooklyn, NY.
Melinda Wenner • September 25, 2006
![The sated Satyr. [<em>Sleeping Satyr</em>, marble copy of bronze original, unknown sculptor c. 200 B.C.]](https://scienceline.org/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/370px-sleeping_satyr.jpg)
The sated Satyr. [Sleeping Satyr, marble copy of bronze original, unknown sculptor c. 200 B.C.]
For many women, the correlation between sex and snoring is one of those annoying facts of life: no matter when passionate encounters occur, men always seem to fall asleep immediately afterwards. Dave Zinczenko, the author of Men, Love and Sex: The Complete User Guide For Women, explained the phenomenon to Huffington Post writer Arianna Huffington this way: “Men go to sleep because women don’t turn into a pizza.”
I doubt I am ever going to become a pizza, and I’ll never have the foresight to order one beforehand. So in lieu of a cure, a better explanation will have to do. Although women sometimes feel sleepy after sex, the phenomenon does seem more pronounced in men. What is it, then, that spirals them into the land of nod?
First, the obvious reasons for sex’s somnolent sway: the act frequently takes place at night, in a bed, and is, after all, physically exhausting (often more so for the man than the woman, although this certainly varies). So when sex is over, it’s natural for a guy to feel sleepy.
Secondly, research using positron emission tomography (PET) scans has shown that in order for a person to reach orgasm, a primary requirement is to let go of “all fear and anxiety.” Doing so also tends to be relaxing and might explain the tendency to snooze.
Then there is the biochemistry of the orgasm itself. Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide (NO), and the hormone prolactin. The release of prolactin is linked to the feeling of sexual satisfaction, and it also mediates the “recovery time” that men are well aware of—the time a guy must wait before “giving it another go.” Studies have also shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.
Prolactin levels are naturally higher during sleep, and animals injected with the chemical become tired immediately. This suggests a strong link between prolactin and sleep, so it’s likely that the hormone’s release during orgasm causes men to feel sleepy.
(Side note: prolactin also explains why men are sleepier after intercourse than after masturbation. For unknown reasons, intercourse orgasms release four times more prolactin than masturbatory orgasms, according to a recent study.)
Oxytocin and vasopressin, two other chemicals released during orgasm, are also associated with sleep. Their release frequently accompanies that of melatonin, the primary hormone that regulates our body clocks. Oxytocin is also thought to reduce stress levels, which again could lead to relaxation and sleepiness.
What about the evolutionary reasons for post-sex sleepiness? This is trickier to explain. Evolutionarily speaking, a man’s primary goal is to produce as many offspring as possible, and sleeping doesn’t exactly help in his quest. But perhaps since he cannot immediately run off with another woman anyway—damn that recovery time!—re-energizing himself via sleep may be the best use of his time.
And although there is conflicting information as to whether women feel sleepy after sex, a woman often falls asleep with the man anyway (or uses it for some key cuddling time), which is good news for him: it means she is not off finding another mate. When the man wakes up and she’s still there, he just might be ready to go again.
It’s also possible that sleepiness is just a “side effect” associated with a more evolutionarily important reason for the release of oxytocin and vasopressin. In addition to being associated with sleep, both chemicals are also intimately involved in what is called “pair bonding,” the social attachment human mates commonly share. The release of these brain chemicals during orgasm heightens feelings of bonding and trust between sexual partners, which may partially explain the link between sex and emotional attachment. This bond is favorable should the couple have a baby, as cooperative child rearing maximizes the young one’s chances for survival.
The bottom line is this: there are many potential biochemical and evolutionary reasons for post-sex sleepiness, some direct and some indirect—but no one has yet pinpointed the exact causes. One thing, however, is certain: we females better get used to it, because it doesn’t look likely to change anytime soon.
I will leave frustrated American women with one final thought: if you are upset at the ubiquity of the post-sex snoring phenomenon, remember that things could be a lot worse. A recent survey of 10,000 English men revealed that 48 percent actually fall asleep during sex.
Talk about coitus interruptus!
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About the Author
Melinda Wenner
Melinda Wenner gave up a much higher salary, a BMW and a comfortable life in the British suburbs in order to write for Scienceline. She is willing to trade her knowledge of molecular biology (and perhaps her list of sources) for a well-poured pint of Carling. Contact her at whathaveidone@hotmail.com.
313 Comments
I don’t fall asleep after sex. I get a little tired but it’s basically like jogging for a bit, it goes away.
On energetic level, man gives away part of his energy body during orgasm, that is why he is more exhausted. Woman gives her part later if she gets pregnant.
My man never falls asleep after sex, it take him about 30-45 minutes sometimes longer to orgasm…why is this? Honestly, I just want a quickie because my clitoris gets so sore from cumming that I don’t even enjoy the sex.
Your survey suggesting that 48% of English men have fallen asleep during sex is very misleading. Firstly because you say English when in fact you mean British: that is English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish. A typical mistake made by the majority of ignorant Americans and is, therefore, easily forgiven.
Secondly, and quite frankly unforgivably, you have quoted a survey which takes a sample size of 10,000 people (men and women) to represent a population of around 63.7 million. That is around 5,000 men to represent around 31.8 million men which – if you know anything about statistical analysis – you will be aware is nowhere near a large enough sample for the purpose.
Thirdly, the same survey suggests that only 11% of women have fallen asleep during the act of love making. Now I’m no Colombo, but think I can smell a lie there because let’s face it, if you are lying on your back on a nice soft bed, you will be more likely to fall asleep than if you are going at it like a jack rabbit in a vain atempt to bring your partner to orgasm. That is undeniable.
Lastly, the survey mentioned cannot possibly be representative of any normal cross-section of British society since the company who published it are not government controlled. Therefore they cannot carry out a truly random selection of participants since they will only have access to a small proportion of names and addresses of people who have put their names forward to be included.
Now you may be thinking, ‘Well if it’s good enough for a newspaper, it must be good enough.’ That might be true were it for the fact that the newspaper in question is The Mail: a tabloid which also prints such twaddle as celebrity gossip, a biased view on the performance of the government, real life articles about people with three nipple and other such deformities, horoscopes and the worlds easiest crosswords. Hardly the epitome of journalistic achievement then!
I would take this with a pinch (nay, a cup!) of salt!
Read this study: http://joe.endocrinology-journals.org/cgi/reprint/177/1/57.pdf
See those levels?? Guess what? NOT SIGNIFICANT! Prolactic??? Guess what?? Women’s levels are normally which higher levels throughout the cycle!
Oxytocin?? Ever been pregnant?? Go through LABOR??? Talk about HIGH levels!!
I had two children. The only thing that made me sleepy soon after is well, the LABOR/DELIVERYU!! In fact, I could’ve gone for a marathon right after one I felt so energetic. And it was in the middle of the night!! However, wouldn’t have been a good idea for all reasons. Pain from the episiotomy wouldn’t have gotten me far!
Look at the site. Most of the levels went down to normal real quickly!!
http://www.rml-lab.com/tests/484
Females: 3.3 – 26.7 ng/ml
Postmenopausal: 2.7 – 19.6 ng/ml
Males: 2.6 – 13.1 ng/ml
MEN!!! Just want an excuse not to listen and cuddle afterwards!! At least the majority from the complaints given by women. My husband will cuddle and talk for a few because HE knows I’ll be ticked otherwise. If it’s night, we both want sleep then. If not night, then after a few, we’ll get up!If men don’t want to cuddle and/or talk afterwards, they are USING the woman as a semen receptacle. That’s it!!
“A recent survey of 10,000 English men revealed that 48 percent actually fall asleep during sex.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HOLY SHIT THIS MADE MY DAY!!
wow i read the article and all the (relevant) comments, and some make good points. the ones that were on topic were informative some had points i hadn’t thought of before. i am a female and i fall asleep after masturbating, but not usually after sex. i’m like most females in that i have a hard time cumming just from penetration i need to stimulate myself at the same time which gives me mind blowing orgasms. and i like it when my boyfriend falls asleep on me, enjoying the euphoric state together…no high compares to that. i love to cuddle too, again, like most females…remember guys, a female who gets what she wants in bed will give back to you a thousand times over!! but i agree that she should be partly responsible for her own pleasure and not just lay there and expect you to do all the work.
anyways i’m glad i read this =)
Wow, this is the dumbest article ever.
They got it right as to why men get sleepy, but with women? It depends if the guy knows how to pleasure his woman!
I got a girl who falls asleep quicker than I when we make love…why? Because I pleasure her so much, her orgasms outweigh my one, and is mentally and physically tired when i’m the one who did everything!
Sunil & Tony, I am also in dire need of help. I feel really really tired for up to 3 or 4 days after masturbating. As you can imagine this affects my life tremendously and I immediately regret having masturbated after I am done.
Once I am done masturbating I feel so tired, almost drugged. I also get quite frustrated, the people at work also notice a change in my behavior. Most of the fights I have with people is during the 2-3 days after masturbating.
I love to masturbate but at this rate I am considering cutting off the penis just to get some stability in my life… any help would be appreciated as I can’t afford to see a specialist at the current stage in my life. Ragingemos@gmail.com
If 48% of English Women had fallen asleep during sex then everyone would be saying ‘look at how bad English guys are at sex’. So how come if 48% of English men HAVE fallen asleep during sex everyone is saying ‘look at how bad English guys are at sex.’
I think there are a lot of selfish guys out there who do just please themselves BUT I think a lot of the problem is also from women who are too shy/self conscious to fully let go.
That’s why sex is better if you’re drunk, your inhibitions are lowered.
This article made my day, very interesting indeed. Maybe I’m one of the rare cases for I feel like walking around the park after a good sex session. My girl would pass out very quickly after every session. by the way I know how to give her mind blowing lovemaking. I can last very long if I wish to, honestly I wait till she made about 3 orgasms. I rarely fall asleep after sex.
The fact that men tend to fall asleep immediately after sex, that they ejaculate fighter sperm (whose sole purpose is to seek and destroy another man’s sperm) and the tendency of women to NOT fall asleep and possess the ability to have multiple orgasms indicates to me that women have historically left their slumbering partners to visit another sexual partner. Why else would we have evolved this way? Scary thought for guys, but that would ensure survival of the fittest and genetic diversity.
very nice article..author seems to have done a thorough research..
Normally, I don’t fall asleep after sex. I’m a pretty active guy, so I have a bit more endurance than the average male. But, I still think it’s ridiculous that so many women complain because their husband, boyfriend, FWB, hook-up etc. falls asleep after sex. Generally the male carries the weight of the female. Combine that with carrying his own weight, rapid pelvic thrusts, heavy breathing (which, in itself, does a number on the lungs) to compensate for all the lifting, shifting and thrusting… And then, the moment of truth – ejaculation. A lot of chemicals and hormones are released, which causes feelings of fatigue. After all that… You’re wicked tired (yes, I’m from New England ahaha!)
I’m not saying “oh boohoo, us men are so unappreciated”, but seriously – give the guy a break. If the boat was on the other side of the bank, we’d never hear the end of it.
As for the Limeys… Easy, boys… Any of you bazzos know just as well as any of us Yanks that if it was the other way around, then it would be factually correct and an interesting read – something hilarious to tell the boys at the pub. But since it concerns you, it’s obviously a hack. I’m not trying to put you guys down or anything, and I have no real issue with the Brits (and yes, I do know the difference between English and British) – we’re cousins, and in this crazy world we’re living in today, we’ve gotta stick together – but, I’m just being realistic. This author could’ve picked the same or a similar survey that was tested on any other nation, you would’ve read it and been fine with it. 10,000 is a large number on an individual scale, but when you’re basing that 10,000 on a nation of what… 60-something million? That’s peanuts. I’m sure you guys are just as good at smashing gash as the dudes from any other nation – Jagger, anyone?
An interesting read, and I hope a lot more women start reading up on stuff like this instead of just complaining about how we (guys) could possibly be tired after sex.
its litlle bit funny bout the question, but i just agree that after having orgasm, sleep are easier .. :)
after sex, if you swallow your sperm you will immediately feel stronger. Try this
As an English man I can proudly state that I have never fallen asleep ‘on the job’ as we say over here.
If you force yourself to stay awake, you will.. just wait it out, talk a litle with your partner, tell her how good she was and before you know it youre back to normal.
Stop debating about English men and Americans we’re both men, we’re both gonna atleast WANT to fall asleep afterwards, shit, we do the most work! AM I RIGHT MY FELLOW MEN!
Yep for sure!
I’m 16 almost seventeen and I go for hours with my gf and carry on my day afterwards just fine…… Btw the girls that say guys need to get better, think about it like this every girl has “her” spot. Guys are simple you do the same thing to a guy he’ll do the same as the next. It takes some exploring and experimenting to see what’s right. Most girls now are like yeah that big reproductive organ is what’s right. No! I’m not big, I’m not small but I know what to do. Btw also don’t jump into sex it’s a bad idea. No climax for her. Orgasms are easy. Go for the next best
Oh and the whole english people thing, we are English jackasses. They also gave us Rock and Roll. So all the wannabe macho guys reading this article can bend over and take it from England in the ass
friends, i read from scientific american (20years ago ?) that for a good normal sleep to happen=humans must change position at least 40times. if we sleep say 8hours, that is 8×60=480 minutes . try one position for 30minutes and that will numb. thus 480/40=12 minutes eadch position in good sleep(good wake up). so, when you cuddle most on the left=turn to the rigth in the last moments.
for normal healthy people ,i think refueling takes just 10minutes then ready to go for upto 7 rounds. but this may exhaust our life due to so much usage of our body(we may wore out faster ).
for athletic people getting longer time to refuel(sleeps more), a chemical or vitamin imbalance is sure . i tried lipovitan (at age 25) and really kicks me to round 7. at 10minutes refueling(with timer ). but later , found out that it reduces physical and mental capability (after one week). why should we exhaust like this ? we get nothing but mental pleasure while over using our bodies. then we fell like we dont want the world=lost well ?
therefore, we need to understand our physical make up. just 2 or 3 rounds or ask the partner how to make it enough in less exhausting way , so we can progress .
its the most enjoying =indulging thing though bestowed to humans.
Found this website, which basically says that ejaculation depletes a man of vital fluids which are take a not easily replenished. The article loss of ejaculation fluids to a loss of blood as in blood donation, but these sexual fluids are harder to replenish for the body. The article promotes the idea of the man limiting his ejaculation frequency. That would be better for his health and his partners enjoyment as women are depleted in the same way during sexual intercourse. I only briefly read the article but it sounds quite beneficial.
signed:j300
i am going to have sex with my bf and i am nervous because my dump mom she is so mean and dump and stupid
i dont think evy man do so.i went gym lots of time after having sex……
The article was a great one & I enjoyed the diversified comments.
i cant sleep after sex, i can after i masterb . wierd. then again im not trying to empregnate my bf. lol.
all body organ found feel relax after doing this process, bcoz our mind conceive that process and do that process……………….
Well if the act is done right both the male an female will both fall a sleep. Nothings better than having slow passionate sensious massage an great prolonged sex. Its way better when your older than young.
Well. Judging by the last six articles, evolution is not working and only stupid people are breeding…how can only 1 of 6 articles not have major spelling or grammatical errors? In any case, my man is snoring post coital, and I’m enjoying the adorable look of contentment on his face. For now, I’m going to enjoy my “me” time, and think about how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man by my side, and how lucky he is that I’m not some insecure, petty prissy chick who thinks the world should revolve around her.
if u are single and u have no one to go to for sexual activity or u just dont masterbate how else do u fall asleep…
Everyone is getting waaay to technical, WE are not scientists. Its great that we all have opinions on how and why men and woman fall asleep after sex, but don’t assume you’re right, because chances are, you’re wrong.
And we all know what assuming does…. makes an ass out of you and me.
But seriously, just because of a survey…. doesn’t mean that english men are more likely to fall asleep. That survey could have been done on only a certain percentage of woman, and that’s not exactly fair now is it?
Also, by pointing fingers at the English, Spanish, Americans, whatever.. Just SHOWS that we all have no idea. So we’re blaming each other for it ?
Doesn’t make sense to me.
it’s just going to keep going back and forth.
so why not just say, “Yeah, everyone gets tired sometimes.”
Great stuff here! I’m looking for ward to coming back.
I make love like a machine and never fall asleep but wen i want to sleep i sleep .
MY THEORY: Guys who fall asleep have an evolutionary advantage over guys who don’t fall asleep.
The reason why is because there are two advantageous competing male traits that help guys produce offspring:
1. Guys who have sex with as many women as possible are at an advantage. Some guys have the urge to “pump and dump” because that urge is evolutionarily advantageous… more partners mean more chances to have a child.
2. Guys who bond with women they sleep with are more likely to produce offspring. If bonding occurs, the woman doesn’t seek other companionship after sex, so the man’s sperm doesn’t compete with other guy’s sperm.
You can see how these two traits are contradictory. A guy who “pumps and dumps” is at an advantage, but that advantage might be lost if the girl is sleeps around, and becomes a competing sperm receptacle.
So what does evolution do? It knocks us the **** out after sex. Then you can still have the “pump and dump” mentality, but since you were unconscious the girl can “cuddle” and bond with the unconscious man. “Pump and dumper” type guys who were awake would treat the woman horribly after sex, so the two wouldn’t bond. But if the jerk guy(women love jerk guys) is sleeping, she can bond with him as much as she wants.
Then when he wakes up, he runs out the door and sleeps with a bunch of other women. This is the best case scenario for guys – evolutionarily speaking.
I know this article is old, but I simply HAVE to comment on some of these comments.
1) You english boys are so easily offended. Put that energy into fixing and maintaining your TEETH, you look like wild animals.
2) Men always do more work during sex. Why wouldn’t we be more tired? Most women lay there like dead fish and expect the guys to do all the pumping. Then they have the nerve to say the guy wasn’t good at sex! Ok missy, how about you hop on top for an hour or so while I lay there and stew over whether or not you’re doing a good job. If you decide to pass out afterwards and I’m not satisfied, I’m simply going to raz you for being inconsiderate to my needs as a man. If you’re good [and tired] and I’M ALSO tired, well then I’ll play hypocrite and fall asleep as well (afterall, now it’s somehow justified why I’m tired). Do you really think it’s fair to judge men on a NATURALLY occurring chemical reaction? Like a previous person posted… can I belittle you because you menstruate?
I’m a woman, and I always feel sleepy after sex. I guess that’s a good thing for my boyfriend, so he doesn’t have to hear me complain about him falling asleep!
The amount of cultural defensiveness in this thread is idiotic. These studies concern human beings, which are nearly identical the world over when it comes to biology and how we handle sex. That some of them end up being preformed in one region or another is almost a non-issue. I mean you’re on a science website. Get off it.
And at the same time enough with the fat American digs. The western world in general is facing an obesity crisis of its own making.
I go 2 rounds without a break and this lasts for about 1hour,i am very active after sex as i would most likely watch tv for hours,girls find my strong libido very strange,well,i dont knw better too.
I like what you guys are up too. Such clever work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my web site :).
Recent studies have shown that men fell sleep after sex so unsatisfied females are urged to mate with other males. Our ancestral mothers used to have sex sith multiple partners to stir sperm competition and improve the egg chances to get the fittest sperm. We always forget the important part played by the female in the human species selection.
Recent studies have shown that men fell sleep after sex so unsatisfied females are urged to mate with other males. Our ancestral mothers used to have sex sith multiple partners to stir sperm competition and improve the egg chances to get the fittest sperm. We always forget the important part played by the female in genetic selection.
Seems to me like some of this was made up.
After mastrubation /ejaculation i cant make a concentration on work (eg reading) on next day . why? also not feel enthusiastic for 2 days after mastrubation? why is it so?
This has been most entertaining. I have laughed a lot as I have read through every comment. I have sex I fall to sleep and it is the best quality of sleep I get. I enjoy it and do not analyze it. After sex my wife gets up and has her quality alone time and does things she enjoys. She does not analyze it but jokes about me fallin to sleep again. It’s life. Enjoy!
In addition to a lot of true facts in d articles, i want to mention here d@ i must answer nature’s call(sleep) sooner or later, even if i get to go out immediately after a “bout”. So, i get to loving it appropriately during Friday/Saturday…but not during d week. So i dont feel drowsy to b efficient @ work/school.
oh wow. Entertaining (the comments are). Just satisfied with the article, fair enough. (:
34. – Jason…the British didn’t defeat the vikings you fool, the vikings never left. They became part of the population.
Unhealthy men are “sleepy” after sexual intercourse whereas healthy men are energetic and ready to go again.